As a physician evaluating sick patients for medical marijuana recommendations I am constantly reminded to put my life in perspective. It is one of the blessings that comes with being a physician. Each day I leave my office I can honestly say “wow, things could be a lot worse” and quickly give my life perspective. Please read on.
I want to share with you some tools that you can use to help put your life in perspective. But first let me tell you why I think you should even care or give any credit to my advice.
My life, generally speaking, has been pretty blessed but it has not come without significant challenges and life changing experiences. I have worked very hard to get where I am and have studied “being successful at life” (whatever that means) for years. I have been to seminars, listened to Anthony Robbins and experienced life.
At 29 I was sent to combat in Iraq with the Marines from Camp Pendleton. I spent 9 months in 2003 getting shot at, taking care of the wounded and praying over the dead. I have personally lost young Marines and Navy Corpsman in my arms. I survived situations where I really felt like death was possible. I have written letters to my family letting just in case I was killed. I had to make difficult decisions regarding the care of the wounded. Mentally it was grueling and surviving that experience made me mentally stronger and gave me incredible perspective.
As a physician I have seen life and death. Each day in my office I speak to patients in horrific pain and many times know they are going to die very soon.
Like everyone reading this I have lost loved ones. Some expectedly and some unexpectedly.
WITH ALL THAT SAID… I STILL CATCH MYSELF FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR A SPECIFIC SITUATION OR GET FRUSTRATED WITH EVENTS THAT ARE TAKING PLACE IN MY LIFE. MOST OF THEM ARE LITTLE THINGS… CERTAINLY NOT LIFE OR DEATH. A LAWSUIT, AN ARGUMENT WITH MY WIFE… WHATEVER.
What I have become very good at is quickly putting my life back into perspective. I want to share with you a couple of tools that I use which really help go through the day with a healthy perspective.
Try this for the next 30 days: Each morning when you wake up ask yourself these 5 questions. But the key is too really focus on the answers so that you feel the emotion.
1. What am I most grateful for in my life? Many times I think to myself “I am grateful I can get up out of bed without help and can walk to the shower without assistance.” Or some days I think. “Thank God I have a bed to sleep on and running water to get a drink. WOW DOES THAT CHANGE YOUR PERSEPCTIVE! How often do you get frustrated because you really want your bathroom remodeled and wish you had a second sink in the main bath. Or maybe it’s instead of “I hate having to get up and go to work”. Replace that with … “I am so grateful that I have a job and can provide for myself and my family”
2. Who do you love the most in your life? For me I think of all the people in my life that I truly love which makes me extremely happy. If you can’t think of any person than maybe it’s ” I really and truly love God for what he has given me.”
3. What are you most excited about in your life? For me I think about my Son’s birth who is due on November 17th or a new goal that I set for myself. If you aren’t excited about anything than you need to set one or two goals or accomplishments that can excite you about living. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
4. What are you most proud of about your life? For me I think about my service to this country or my medical degree. For others it may be that “you took the high road in a family conflict or stood up for something you believed in”
5. Who loves you in your life? Without knowing who you are reading this… I personally believe that God does love each and every one of us because he gave us life. So if you don’t have anyone in your life that loves you for whatever reason… remember God each morning. So maybe it’s “thank you God for loving me like you do.” I struggled at times in my life trying to figure out who God is or even what he is… but have put my faith in the fact that he gave me life… and if anything i am thankful for that.
If you can do this exercise each day for the next 30 days I believe you will be on your way to using perspective to improve your life. Your emotional states can not help but changing for the better if you reflect on those five questions.
Lastly, I want you to realize that we are all seconds away from our deaths. We have no idea when it is going to come or how. Why would we focus on that… wouldn’t that just depress us you may ask? Probably yes if thats all you focused on. But how about this “right now someone is being told that they have untreatable cancer” . Really focus on that and how you would feel if that were you. Focus on how your priorities would change. Think about how irrelevant your money problems are… or how irrelevant it is that your spouse pissed you off over something stupid.
In those moments when you are frustrated…. think this “Right now I am blessed with life and have this moment. How lucky am I?”
No one gets through life without difficult trials and challenges. The key is to gain a healthy perspective, no matter what the situation, about where you truly are and what you really have.
I hope this helps you in any way!
Be blessed,
Dr. Breen